Ally's Blog
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Katie was 15 when she died. My family has been ripped apart by something none of us could do anything about. We put brave faces on, and say we're ok; we've raised funds over £8000 and hope that awareness of melanoma is on the increase. But the plain facts are that nothing will ever bring my daughter back, and at the end of each day thats all I want. Katie never sun bathed, or went on a sun bed, she was sensible; and a nice person who many, many people loved. Yet Malignant Melanoma doesnt bear any of this in mind, it doesnt stop and think - "I've done enough damage to this young girl, taking her dignity, ruining her life, leaving her blind and paralysed..." It goes on and on until nothing is left, apart from the surrounding loved ones watching and praying for miracles which dont happen. I used to think there was nothing worse than seeing your child die in front of your eyes, but there is - and its watching your other child try so hard to cope with a loss so great its like having half of his body torn off, there is no rhyme nor reason - Melanoma is a killer, never doubt that. I can't be positive at the moment I'm grieving for the death of a cherished daughter and sister - the days are dark and pointless; I cant keep the mask on any longer pretending that Im coping because Im not.
My world is full of "IF's" - if only I'd noticed the mole earlier,
If only Katie has said something the moment it started irritating her,
If only we had known about scans....
if only we'd insisted on a second opinion at the begining.....,
if only sentinal node biopsy had been done........,
if only she'd been refered to an oncologist from the word go...........,
if only there was no such thing as melanoma.
My world is full of "IF's" - if only I'd noticed the mole earlier,
If only Katie has said something the moment it started irritating her,
If only we had known about scans....
if only we'd insisted on a second opinion at the begining.....,
if only sentinal node biopsy had been done........,
if only she'd been refered to an oncologist from the word go...........,
if only there was no such thing as melanoma.
Ally's experience to date
Katie was a lively, full of character, bubbly, extra-ordinary non-tantruming teenage girl. She was incredibly talented, both at school, or in private; always finding it easy to memorise information, with an fantastic sense of fun, easy to talk to or just be quiet with - she was just "our Katie". They do say you dont know what you've got till it's gone - and nothing strikes that message home more than the loss of this amazing young lady. A popular girl from being a toddler to a teenager, she adored her animals, Faith the Great Dane, Jed the corn snake, and Whisper her beloved horse. Katie was a well rounded girl, both physically and mentally, always comfiest in jeans, jodphurs and tee-shirts, and never happier than nattering with her mates or being out in the fields with Whisper.
When Katie was 13 (April 2006) she found a mole on her left leg had started to irritate her - over the course of the night she scratched it so badly it bled, so the following evening I took her to the doctors to ask if he could remove it - to my shock he referred her to Derby Childrens hospital for a biopsy. The mole was removed and sent away, two weeks later we had the results. We were told - "It was cancerous, but its been removed - you had a cancer but its ok - now its gone, your fine. You'll have to have 3 monthly checkups just as a matter of precaution but dont worry about them because....YOUR FINE". The 3 monthly checkups came and went, Katie was annoyed with the intrusion into her life, making her miss an afternoon of school every 3 months ( I did say she was extra-ordinary - not a swot but she loved being with her mates at school) - she was embarrassed by this middle aged male doctor prodding and poking her when she'd been told she was fine, but still we made her go. One checkup was in July 2007, the next one would have been October, however 2 weeks into the new school year Katie found a pea sized lump in her groin. This time the melanoma was in her lymph glands. Groin dissection followed, and then weeks of agonizing healing. Finally the groin healed and the vac-suction pump and all wrappings, paddings, and bandages removed -Our Katie was back.
Over Christmas she had aches in her good leg, behind the knee - nothing was found; then more aches and pains. January saw interferon started and stopped after 3 weeks as the side effects were too bad for her to cope with. Finally a scan showed hot spots all over her body. By June 2008, after a long and hard struggle our beautiful daughter had had enough - by now the melanoma had spread from one small mole, nothing special or big, not unsightly or black, just looking like a normal mole into a cancer called Malignant Melanoma which had ravaged her body and mind so severly,eating into her spine, bowel, bladder, liver, lungs, kidneys, spleen, ribs, shoulder blades, skull and the final straw - her brain. Katies story can be seen here in more detail:http://www.freewebs.com/katie-taylor/index.htm
Not once during this horrendous struggle had any medical person offered us any advice or guidance, support or where to look for more information - this service is much needed as not only does Melanoma affect its victim, it also destroys the life of the victims family. Once we had a very close family, maybe too perfect, a mum, a dad, and two children. Now we have a mum, a dad, a son and a grave.
If you have a mole you are worried about in any way, go and get it checked, dont be fobbed off for a month to see what happens - look at Katies story - this is what happens.
Melanoma isn't choosy about who it attacks, when or where.
When Katie was 13 (April 2006) she found a mole on her left leg had started to irritate her - over the course of the night she scratched it so badly it bled, so the following evening I took her to the doctors to ask if he could remove it - to my shock he referred her to Derby Childrens hospital for a biopsy. The mole was removed and sent away, two weeks later we had the results. We were told - "It was cancerous, but its been removed - you had a cancer but its ok - now its gone, your fine. You'll have to have 3 monthly checkups just as a matter of precaution but dont worry about them because....YOUR FINE". The 3 monthly checkups came and went, Katie was annoyed with the intrusion into her life, making her miss an afternoon of school every 3 months ( I did say she was extra-ordinary - not a swot but she loved being with her mates at school) - she was embarrassed by this middle aged male doctor prodding and poking her when she'd been told she was fine, but still we made her go. One checkup was in July 2007, the next one would have been October, however 2 weeks into the new school year Katie found a pea sized lump in her groin. This time the melanoma was in her lymph glands. Groin dissection followed, and then weeks of agonizing healing. Finally the groin healed and the vac-suction pump and all wrappings, paddings, and bandages removed -Our Katie was back.
Over Christmas she had aches in her good leg, behind the knee - nothing was found; then more aches and pains. January saw interferon started and stopped after 3 weeks as the side effects were too bad for her to cope with. Finally a scan showed hot spots all over her body. By June 2008, after a long and hard struggle our beautiful daughter had had enough - by now the melanoma had spread from one small mole, nothing special or big, not unsightly or black, just looking like a normal mole into a cancer called Malignant Melanoma which had ravaged her body and mind so severly,eating into her spine, bowel, bladder, liver, lungs, kidneys, spleen, ribs, shoulder blades, skull and the final straw - her brain. Katies story can be seen here in more detail:http://www.freewebs.com/katie-taylor/index.htm
Not once during this horrendous struggle had any medical person offered us any advice or guidance, support or where to look for more information - this service is much needed as not only does Melanoma affect its victim, it also destroys the life of the victims family. Once we had a very close family, maybe too perfect, a mum, a dad, and two children. Now we have a mum, a dad, a son and a grave.
If you have a mole you are worried about in any way, go and get it checked, dont be fobbed off for a month to see what happens - look at Katies story - this is what happens.
Melanoma isn't choosy about who it attacks, when or where.
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